The little things
by PhoebeDreams
Summary: We see some aspects of Jess and Becker's relationship and the way it develops, but there are so many little things they could do and think. These are some of them. Drabbles.
1. Chapter 1

Feeling responsible

Becker shoots a man during his first month at the ARC, and it baffles him a bit. He has shot people before, he's been to Afghanistan. But he hadn't expected to have to do it at his new job. He was told his job was to contain creatures, to save human lives, not destroy them. It was part of its appeal not to have to kill people any more, human beings like him. And yet here he stands, looking down at a decidedly unpleasant-looking man who broke into the ARC for reasons only he knows, and he's dead. It is the first and last time Becker has to kill a human being in his new job.

What feels a thousand times worse, however, is when they arrive too late, when a shot misses its target or a bystander is trapped with a creature and they can't get access to help them. Every innocent person he can't save feels like another human being he has killed. Every time he has to mention casualties in his reports, he feels like he personally pulled the trigger. The others feel bad about the creatures' victims as well, but none of them, he thinks, suffer the guilt trips, the nightmares, the blinding headaches he gets from tossing and turning all night and, after Connor, Abby and Danny disappear, from drinking himself to oblivion.

It will take years for that guilt to stop – years and one very determined young field coordinator. Jess Parker is the first, and most unlikely, person to understand what's troubling Captain Becker, and her perseverance completely disarms him.

A/N: Alright, so this collection of drabbles has absolutely no concept, except that there's several of them, I will attempt to do them in chronological order, and they will all center around Jess and Becker. I promise there's more to come, and very soon. And don't worry, they'll get longer. This is the shortest.


	2. Chapter 2

Honestly!

Everyone always thinks Jess is all sweet and pretty and bubbly and not much else. Little do they know that, sometimes, she gets so irritated with them all that she'd like nothing more than to wipe the sarcastic smile off Lester's face, stop Connor's rambling and, most of all, kick Becker in the shins – or somewhere else – until he stops being so bloody unreadable all the time.

Jess is not a violent person, but sometimes she could seriously throttle Becker. Or at least, walk up to him and ask him what the hell he thinks he's playing at. One moment, he's bringing her chocolate and saving her life and telling her she's brilliant, the next he's avoiding her and pretending to have to do security stuff the moment he realises that he might not be immune to feelings after all.

It's bloody annoying, and immature as well. And that, Jess thinks, is saying something coming from her, the baby of the team – another thing that annoys her to no end. Yes, she's young. Yes, occasionally she might let her mouth get a bit ahead of her, or her enthusiasm sweep her away. But what the others tend to forget is that she also has an IQ of 135, skipped three classes at school and graduated college at the age of nineteen only to get an exclusive government job after going to exactly _one _interview. And so far, none of them have had any reason to complain about her work. She excels at her job, and never has anything gone wrong because of her – which is more than the rest of the team can say for themselves. Despite her supposed immaturity, she's not the one who keeps doing stupid things on an impulse, or because she's angry, or curious, or whatever reason Matt, Becker, Abby and Connor have for constantly getting into scrapes that could have been avoided had they just taken a second to think.

No, Jess is good at her job and good at controlling herself, unless maybe she's talking about Becker. Or _to_ Becker, of course. But when she's sitting at the hub, she is in control. And yet, the amount of crap she has to put up with from the others is astonishing. Lester alone has insulted her more times than she can count. 'If you can manage it, how hard can it be? - this coming from a man who can't even turn up the volume on hi computer!

And Becker! Yes, she has a serious crush on him, as the others never fail to remind her, but when she first met him, the man was an arrogant toe-rag! Of course, she knows now that he had his reasons to question everyone and everything at the new ARC, but the way he kept second-guessing her during her first months was downright _insulting_. It has gotten better now, of course – he even told her she was brilliant, on several occasions. But it did sting. After all, she doesn't go around pointing out to him how many shots he's missed during a mission, does she? She never would of course, not with what she knows about his own insecurities. She's not mean. And of course she knows what Becker goes through every time they lose someone – what he went through after he lost Abby, Connor, Danny and Sarah, she can only imagine. She tries to understand, to help him, even, but he keeps pushing her away, and she's getting tired of it.

Her life is difficult enough without having her hopes built up only for him to crush them again every few weeks. She's always been a confident person, sure of her abilities, but with all the horrible things happening at work and the man of her dreams not-quite rejecting her for almost two years now, Jess is about to reach the end of her patience. She just hopes that, when she does, it'll be on a quiet day with no anomalies, so her outbreak will not get in the way of work and endanger any innocent lives. "Oh yes," Jess thinks as she reaches this resolution, "take this, Captain Becker. That's how serious and professional I am!" And with a surreptitious look around to check that no-one is watching, she takes a piece of the chocolate he brought her this morning out of her bag and pops it into her mouth. Arrogant toe-rag or not, the man does know where to find great chocolate.

A/N: I've noticed how I – and many other writers as well – tend to focus on Jess' sweet, bubbly, rambling behaviour a lot. But rewatching series 4, I realised that there are many instances where she's not like that at all, but professional and insightful. And since she is a smart girl who gets underestimated a lot, I wanted to show how that might annoy her sometimes. I know this is incredibly incoherent and random, but it is someone's thoughts, after all.

Also, about the arrogant toe-rag: Many of you might take offense at that, and yet, I think Becker really was quite difficult and annoying to Jess and Matt at the beginning.


	3. Chapter 3

Jess is over the moon when Connor and Abby not only return to the present, but actually move into her flat. She has always loved hearing about the old ARC, and not just because it gave her a reason to spend time with Becker. But considering how Becker felt about the loss of his friends, his willingness to talk depended very much on his mood, and Jess was always careful not to push him too far.

Connor is equally guarded about many things – apparently, talking about Cutter still causes him pain. Abby, however, is always willing to tell her stories, although her face too gets clouded at the mention of Cutter, Stephen, Danny and Sarah.

Unfortunately, something Abby loves even more than talking about 'before' is teasing Jess about her infatuation with a certain Captain. She actually manages to combine the two things occasionally. They are both sitting in the living-room on a quiet Saturday morning, doing their nails and sharing girl stuff while Connor is, once again, putting in overtime at Prospero, when Abby suddenly brings up the topic of Becker.

"You know, there's another thing that used to be different at the old ARC," Abby starts, and her mischievous grin tells Jess she's in for some teasing again. At least Becker isn't around to see her blush this time.

"Becker's uniforms were different. It was the same principle – boots and jacket and all in black. But around the ARC, he generally wore these very tight black T-shirts, and let me tell you, the female lab technicians – and a few of the male ones – did not get a lot of work done when he was around. I mean, I noticed he still wears shirts, but they're a little different. Less tight, I guess."

Jess doesn't know if she should be a little jealous at the dreamy way Abby says this, but the mental image that pops up makes her unable to say anything anyway. Abby's grin broadens at her expression.

"I mean, seriously, his old shirts were so tight, he needn't have bothered wearing them at all."

That does it for Jess. Five minutes later, she's remote-accessed the ARC archive on her laptop and pulled up a few old photos of the team. And indeed, one of them does show a slightly younger-looking Becker in a tight, black shirt just as Abby described it. With a Cheshire grin, she surreptitiously saves one of the images in one of her private folders, while Abby pretends to be very engrossed in correcting the nail polish on her left little toenail.

The next time Jess does inventory of the armoury supplies, she places an order for black, tight uniform shirts – just in case Abby's feeling nostalgic, of course.

A/N: Okay, after I watched season 3, I became convinced that Becker did not wear shirts like this in the later series, and wrote this drabble. Then I rewatched series 4, and right at the beginning of the first episode, what is Becker wearing? A tight shirt. It is somewhat different from the shirts he wears in season three, but I can't figure out how exactly. Still, I loved the image of Jess "getting all excited", so I figured I'd post this anyway, because I can totally see a conversation like this happen, and I love to think that Jess and Abby sometimes do girly stuff together.


	4. Chapter 4

One of the things Jess likes about Becker is the way he speaks. Compared to Connor's Northern drawl, Becker's clear enunciation is music to her ears. Many women might not find it particularly attractive, but to her, his terse, clipped syllables are reassuring, comforting. It's exactly what the person responsible for their safety should sound like.

She often wonders if he always talks like that or only at work. Even with her, it's the way he generally sounds, especially when he's exasperated, like when she brings him Chinese food during a stake-out or asks inappropriate personal questions.

Occasionally, however, and usually during times of crisis – bombs, bugs, future predators – when he's worried (about her! Her inner voice jubilates) his voice takes on a different quality, and it's this tone she loves even more: Soft and warm and much like the smooth milk chocolate she can never resist when he puts it on her desk.

A/N: Since this is such a tiny little piece, I posted it right with the third drabble of this series. This is also the reason I asked you in one of my other stories where Connor's from. I've since looked on the ITV page and realise it says on there where Connor's from, but thanks for your help anyway. This series used to be called "So many days", but the title didn't seem fitting any more.


End file.
